"Tensor Rings blocked alien death rays!"
Tim Foilhat
"Tensor Rings helped me lose weight!"
Mohr Obesity
"Tensor Rings helped me stop drinking!"
Stoner McFlea
"Tensor Rings made me smarter!"
Gary AarTard
Tensor Rings are the joint invention of Slim Witman, Luc SkyWalker, Marlin Peters, Bertha Etsy, Bill Reed, Herman Munster, and Melanie Evans.



